I was laying in bed this evening with my five-year-old, reading her books, while the sound machine created a beautiful thunderstorm backdrop. Before I knew it I was convinced of a thunderstorm turning overhead, and I was welcoming the much needed drops of rain. We finished up reading and saying our prayers together, and we laid there enjoying the sounds of our simulated thunderstorm. I could feel the tensions of the day dissipate from my muscles, while acknowledging how relaxing and comforting the sounds of those big lightning strikes were. This is very contrary to another time in my life, my elementary years, when maybe these sounds weren't so comforting. I remember running down to the basement, and pleading for my family to join me, every time the skies would darken over the beautiful planes of South Dakota. I was convinced that the concrete walls of the basement could keep us safe and secure from the monstrous storm headed our way. My quest to control the situation and create a sense of safety would leave me hysterical if I could not accomplish it. It all came down to control.
Fast forward a few decades and pass over a period of full-blown panic and anxiety attacks, and I eventually landed in a spot of deeper trust and faith. And this, you see, could not have happened until I acknowledged that I do not have real control. And this was the most powerful moment in my life. It was the brightest lightbulb. It was my Ah-ha moment. And it was freeing! And I am so eternally grateful that I did find my peace when I did, as we see so much turmoil at this time in our beautiful country...as we see so much hatred and bloodshed in the world around us....as I lay here, pregnant with our eighth child. I acknowledge that there are no guarantees in "our vision" for our our future. We have no promise of tomorrow. We only have today. God does give us a brain to make wise choices, and make preparations… but still, no guarantees. The only God given power we do have is prayer. It all comes down to prayer. And it's a struggle for some, who need to see to believe. But believe. It's what we were designed for...to reach outside of ourselves and unite ourselves with Him in prayer. It is so incredibly powerful when you can acknowledge that you are powerless with regards to true control. God did not custom design us to control the universe, to decide who lives or dies, or to take upon ourselves all the worries of the world. He does give each of us unique talents to contribute our part to make the world a better place united in love, and to be in union with the holy spirit through prayer. He does not abandon. Why do we? It's so simple.