On having a big family

Okay all of you sisters out there with big families, you know what I'm talking about when I say we get comments.  Comments from people of every generation, young and old, from every culture, and most likely from every language. I just am unaware of the non-English comments. :-).   The most common ones are, "you must have your hands full", bless your heart", "are you Catholic?", " I'm sure your older children are big helpers around the house", "Are you going to have more?" ( jaw hanging), and "Look mom, it's the Dougers!".  Most of the time, particularly if we are all out and about going out to eat, or going into a store, etc., we just get the stare.  Now I absolutely believe that people have good intentions with their comments, and I do not hold anything against them whatsoever. But I have to admit that it makes me very sad that we are in a place in history where having more than two children is out of the norm.  And it makes me sad that people assume that because we are Catholic, and have a big family, that it is simply because we do not use birth control, and just leave it all up to chance.  I do find myself getting a little defensive (At least feeling it, if not showing it), when explaining to people how we got here.  Explaining that there was a time when we were young, naïve, untrustworthy, and we had this preconceived idea that we had to plan out our entire lives. Joseph and I wanted two children, three at the most, a golden lab, and a house with the swing hanging from a big oak tree in the front yard.  I will admit that we just hung that swing up, but as for the rest of our plan, God worked on us.   When I meet young people that are just completely living in God's will, confidently, and with complete trust, I am amazed. Joseph and I had to grow into this.  We were led down a longer path, with many detours, some small mountains, peaks, and valleys. God put just the right people in our lives at just the right time.  And on this path, we learned to pray. And with praying, God worked on our hearts.  We have come to realize that there is nothing in this world as precious as a human life. As I have said before, where there is life, there is love. And God is love.  I have found myself ministering to young moms who are on the fence about having that third child, as I have met dozens of women who are in mourning of the fact that they permanently closed the door to have more children very early on. That could have very easily have been us. I remember Joseph being very nervous the first time I left him home alone with the two children, where as now I see a very confident father who would not hesitate in a second to grab all six kiddos and go for an outing. The changes I've seen in him as a father, and as a man of faith, completely move me and bring me to tears. And the changes I've witnessed in myself are plentiful enough to fill the pages of a book.  Often times we will be asked "and what do you do for yourself? You need to make you time!"   I can honestly say, that thought does not  cross my mind! Our joy right now is seeing our children succeed at life, and love on each other.  There is nothing like it to compare.  I remember when Joseph and I were young, we spent every weekend going out to dinner, working out two hours a day at the gym, seeing the latest movies, hanging at Barnes & Noble with our coffees. At the time, that felt like enough. But where we are right now, again, there is just no comparison.  I would never say that everyone should have a large family, but I would encourage each and every young family to keep that option open, and to constantly be praying about it.  I brought our three-year-old to a fitness play class yesterday, and ran into a young mom who I had ministered to just a year before. I remember her saying that they are done having children, after having two. I shared our story with her, just to give her a little bit of a different perspective. I cannot tell you how excited I was when I saw her yesterday, as she was so radiantly beautiful, and five months pregnant.  God is amazing!  With that said, today I am thankful for a beautiful family, but I know we never know what tomorrow brings. We never know how long any of us have on this earth. And we will never know the trials that are to come tomorrow. As parents, we pray, we love, and we do what we think is best as far as how we raise our children. We have not let fear affect our choices. As fear is not of God.  I can only promise all of you young mamas, that your love can be stretched, That your heart can be opened, and that you will never regret prayerfully considering growing your family.